I think it is finally hitting me - the gravity of the earthquake. I don't mean that I didn't understand the gravity of what has happened, but it is seeping deeper into my soul, especially as we continue to receive notes of love and care thanking and praising God that we are ok. I am touched by how loved we are and so, so thankful. But it is also making me think again of the question, "what does it mean to be under God's care - His protection?". That question burned in my mind in the wake of little Knox Anderson's accident and it comes at me again. How do I make sense of tragedy in this world? We were in the earthquake, 90 miles north of the epicenter, where no major devastation occurred. Does that mean we were in God's hands and others weren't? What about the people of Ica, and Pisco, the worshipers in the church that caved in while they were worshiping?
Since Knox's death, my categories for what it looks like to trust God and what it means to be under God's protection have radically altered - for the better I must say. Being under God's care no longer means that hard things will not happen to me - that my spouse won't die tragically, or my child, or that the ceiling won't come crashing down on me while I am worshiping.
There is nothing staving off tragedy from my life except the sovereign will of God. That is why we were not in Pisco. That is why we left Lima unscathed and frankly unknowledgable of how devastating the quake had been until the news reports began to come in. So how do I view God? As a God who may let rip on me at any moment? Or as a Father who weeps with us?
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom. 8:38-39
I have to trust in my Father who is bigger than the tragedies that life this side of heaven brings. I have to trust in him to whom my soul belongs. My faith does wax and wane - a lot, but His Hand is sure and his Heart for me is a safehaven for my soul.
The question is not whether these things will happen, but rather how do we respond when they do? Lord Jesus, I need so much more faith to bear life this side of Heaven. Or rather to hold faster, and cling tighter to Him who is faithful.
4 comments:
Thanks for sharing this. I was actually trying to say something along these lines when speaking about our experience to Sunday School this morning but my words fell well short of your elequence here. Often other preemie parents are upset by the words on my blog about God's goodness, answers to prayers, and that He is in control. Sometimes I'm at a loss for words when they say "what about my baby that died, where was God when I prayed?" "my preemie is deaf and in a wheelchair, where is God's love in that?". I have answers in my heart but the words never do justice to God's grace to us and all I can do is lift them up in prayer. We never know what pain or sorrow may come our way but God is steadfast and we can trust his ways even if we don't always understand them.
Again, Praise God for protecting all of you from such a tragic event! I still can't believe you were in Lima when that happened, wow.
Heather, I (tricia: www.hornes.org) visit here now and again from A/J's blog. I loved what you have written about here. Yesterday Rich preached on Matt 7: the two builders, and again pointed out the truth that it's not "if" the storms come, but "when" they come...and what is our house built upon, and whom do we cling to (and in turn He clings to us!) as we ride out the storms? Thanks for this reminder...and I am thankful to hear your family is safe in the midst of such a literal storm.
Happy Anniversary Friends!! Praying for you and for this day to be extra special.
Love,
Holly
We are all so thankful that your family is ok. I was feeling so badly for you when you said you went through all that while sick. Uuggh. I love you. I miss you.
--Hannah
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